faculty fallibility

wishing words to flow,
to fall, to tumble around the twists
tripping up my tongue.

perplexed by the hatred aimed
at who i am…what i am.
please, study me–scrutinize.

don’t tamper, don’t tally targets
without some sense of tangibility.
similitude may show itself,

a tenuous thread strung
between you and me
connecting us inextricably.

familiarize foremost, before defamation.
it is the only way to be sure that
i am the sinner you insinuate me to be.
9.13.06/600pm

(Most of my work poems don’t need explanation- this one however, I wrote after eating my lunch in an enraged silence in the faculty room of an area high school while one of the teachers made HIGHLY offensive and inappropriate gay jokes, and others laughed. I was a TSS at the time, and tended to keep to myself, so I wasn’t on familiar terms with many people at the school. On one hand, I was there as a representative of an agency and had to keep my client’s safety and well-being in mind, as well as the company’s image. On the other hand, from the tone of the room, it felt like if I tried to speak up, I would be alone at the mic. This was 10 years ago. Long before I had any sort of backbone or voice of my own…To this day, I regret my silence. Please forgive me.)

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