Shadow Dance

One step forward, three steps back
Moving in a circle, it is direction I lack.
Trying not to swerve on the straight and narrow path.
Blinding moments of clarity
mixed in with the confusion
They seem to feel this is a good thing.
As for me. Well, I’m not so sure.
The fire leaps behind me, licking at my heels.
The wall looms ahead of me, darkening my path.
Paralyzing fear.
Magnified by that which I cannot (will not) face.
The flames throw my shadow upon the wall,
Illuminating the monster that rages within.
(There are reasons to be frightened of your own shadow,
when you know its’ main intent, and only purpose, is harm.)
As I peer into the flickering darkness,
I wonder when and where I made the wrong turn,
how I managed to keep getting lost and never to learn.
Occasionally, I meet someone along the path.
Not on my particular route, but close enough to see.
Sometimes close enough to hear.
Never close enough to touch.
(It would probably help if I took off my coat of thorns.)
Soon enough, my companions turn their own way,
leaving me with only my memories and my fear.
But something happened, things started to change.
(They seem to feel this is a good thing.
As for me. Well, I’m not so sure.)
I looked down at my feet, at the path I tread.
And saw footsteps that were not my own.
They went forward, they came from behind.
I’m not the only one who’s walked on this path, I find.
A moment of calm, followed by fright.
I cannot go back, yet I cannot stay here.
I must vanquish the demons and face the fear.
(Easier said than done)
Every step hurts like hell and my feet are sore.
It was easier to stay in the uncomfortable comfort
than to walk blind into my own internal war.
It’s difficult to fight that which has no name.
But I’ve started this journey, began this trek.
And I’ll keep going forward because I cannot go back.
I’ll follow these footsteps as long as I can.
Wherever they lead is where I will stand.
4.30.99/12.55am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s