We know it wasn’t “accidental”
And the papers said “Natural Causes”
But it’s just not true.
We lie to ourselves because to admit that it could be so –
That would mean we could have saved you.
But saving you wouldn’t have been the answer
Because we would have done it for us, not you.
You’re gone. We are still here.
You’re free. We are bound by fear.
Is suicide painless?
(Yes, I used the “s” word.)
Is it an escape?
Is it a cry for help?
Or is it something done after there is no help to be had?
When does life become so bad that the only way
to make things better,
is to take your own life?
We don’t know the answers to these things.
But you, my friend.
You figured out a way to make it end.
But you thought your memory would fade.
That we’d forget with the setting sun.
You were wrong, my friend.
The mourning has not yet begun.

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