Diamonds

The rain has stopped for now,
leaving hundreds of water drops on the window.
A light shines from somewhere below,
it shines on the window and on the raindrops.
Now they look like stars –
diamonds in the velvet sky.
They try to remind me of other times.
Times I can’t think about.
Places I don’t want to forget,
but memories that still sting.
The rain has started again.
I can’t hear it because of the fan.
It’s too hot for January.
The music covers the whir,
but I’m not sure what’s playing.
Something soft, steady.
I’m not sure why I’m keeping myself awake.
It’s as if I’m waiting for something,
but I don’t know exactly what.
Maybe it’s just that I only have
a small amount of time to be alone,
and I don’t want to waste it on sleep.
Maybe I’m avoiding the dreams
that are waiting under my pillow.
Maybe I just drank too much caffeine today.
1.24.99/12.40am

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