Life has a certain way of sweeping the rug out from under your feet, even (or especially) when you weren’t aware you were even standing on a rug in the first place. You’re going along, minding your business, thinking that your feet are firmly on the floor and swoosh. When this happens, it’s often difficult (for me) to create. This is ironic, as it is just the time that creating would be probably most beneficial. And, I’m trying to get better at forcing myself to make art when I’m on the floor. But I don’t necessarily work that way? I can, and have, been trying to make myself take photographs. So in that sense, I’m taking the first step. But trying to do anything with the photos has been more challenging.
Last week, I went to a masquerade party for the Gallery, which was nice. I even stepped way out of my comfort zone and went out to the bar with a bunch of peeps afterwards. It was pretty fun and good to get to know some of the Gallery folk better. I also was able to take about 15 greeting cards to take to display/sell, finally. So, yay!
This weekend, I went to a retreat with several other like-minded women. It was much needed to spend a solid chunk of time surrounded by people who appreciated many of the same things that I do…we listened to an inspiring Ted talk, as well as listened to a few Tara Brach podcasts. There was some meditation, lots of laughter, good food, hugs, some tears and even some crafts! I surprised the heck out of myself by sharing much more than I planned/expected to. I suppose sometimes necessity outweighs complacency? Not sure. But it was just a very comfortable place, so. The nights, as I was afraid, were super difficult. Nights at home are kind of the worst, and I had hoped I’d be able to muster through them while at the retreat. Ehhh. Thankfully, I had a very kind and patient roommate, and while it was still not easy, I felt safer than I have in weeks, which was nice and unexpected.
After the retreat, I hung out with the ladies I worked with at several of my previous jobs. It was so super good to see them again. I grew so much in terms of forming friendships when I worked with them last year. They make my heart happy.
It has not been an easy month, but for tonight, I feel better. Maybe a little more hopeful? Or at least less sunk in the pit of rock bottom…